Roasted Pumpkin Seeds Recipe

Last year I decided to make sure there wasn't any waste from our Halloween pumpkins. If you're usually one that scoops out the insides straight into the bin, then you really should try this easy method for roasting the seeds.

I made it up. And, if I do say so myself, they taste pretty dam fabulous. Give it a go yourself;

what you need

Pumpkin seeds, scooped from pumpkin, drained in colander to remove the left over skin.
Splash of oil
Seasoning

how to do it

Pre heat oven to 200degrees.

Once you've given the seeds a good wash & removed most of the skin. (Don't worry if there's still a few strands hanging on though) add seeds to a frying pan with a splash of oil. Medium heat for a few mins. Stir continuously. You're just getting things started with this. So take them off just as they start changing colour.

Transfer seeds from pan to a baking tray with a little oil rubbed all over. Spread out to a single layer, then sprinkle over seasoning of your choice. I chose a little bit of garlic salt & paprika.

Pop in oven for 10-15 minutes. (Check on them after 10 minutes and again every few mins after that because they change very quickly!) Then take them out when they're browned. If you're not sure take them out and try one. You'll know when they're done.

I'm so chuffed with the result. A perfect little snack to dip into.

How to Survive the lonely life of a freelancer

I had a conversation with a client today, who said:

'Yeah, but you're just the fluffy bunny stuff. 

We know we have to do it but you're just not a priority at the moment.' 

Charming! But it just about sums up my life as a freelancer. Especially in the field I work in. Social media and PR. Sometimes I can go months without speaking to any of my clients. A few emails might go back and forth, but mostly I'm at the bottom of the list and often ignored.

I get it. They're busy people, I don't work in the office and I'm often just forgotten and left to get on with it.

But when you work from home, on your own, sometimes you really need those conversations and it can be flippin' hard work to keep going and stay motivated when you don't get any feedback. But this is the career I've chosen and, despite all of this, the career I wouldn't change. So I have to get on with it. Here's how I survive the lonely life of a freelancer.

DON'T TAKE IT TOO PERSONALLY

The constant rejection can be pretty tough to take. And sometimes it really does feel like you're doing a shit job and no one likes you. But honestly, you gotta let it go. It's not you and actually, if you're being left to get on with it (and still being paid!) it probably means your client trusts you and is happy with what you're doing.

DON'T LET THEM FORGET YOU

That being said, it's important that they don't forget about you. No matter how much you're ignored, don't give up. You don't need to be a pest, they're obviously busy, but don't stop calling or emailing if you need something, and wherever possible, arrange a face to face meeting at their office so they don't forget you. Remind them what they're paying you for. 

MAKE SURE YOU CAN JUST KEEP GOING

Because I'm often ignored for weeks on end, I need to make sure I stay on top of things and can keep things going with or without the additional information. That means I need to know the industry I'm working with and when I do get to speak to someone, I drain them for every bit of information I can get. I work ahead as much as possible and keep up to date on industry events and important dates to link in with. 

BUDDY UP

If your main contact is the MD of a company, it's likely to be pretty tricky to pin them down for information. Find someone at the company who can get you the information you need. Keep in touch with them and get them to poke the client with a stick every now and then. 

FIND SOMEONE TO VENT TO

The one and only thing I miss about working in an office is not having a great team behind me on those really tricky days or just to bounce ideas off every now and then. Luckily some of my best friends were made in my early PR days and I regularly use and abuse them as a sounding board for ideas, reassurance and a bloody good vent. If you can get out and meet up with other freelancers in your industry even better. But having someone at the end of the phone for those tough days, makes all the difference. 

Other than that, and the lack of a Christmas party, I love working for myself and feel really lucky to be able to do it. It's not for everyone, but it's definitely for me. 

Hello September - 3 ways I get ready for Winter

There's something about the start of Autumn that fires up the motivation in me. Now's the time I want to get my routine on track, refresh my daily regime, update my make up bag and wardrobe, and get us all ready for the end of the year.

Here's how I get us ready for Winter

I start with my September de-clutter. I do this at the start of each new season. I get rid of all the stuff I don't want any more and replace it with new, 'seasonally inspired' clutter! Right now, it's all about the Hygge.

Our wardrobes get a big overhaul. At the start of a new season, I'll sort through our clothes; charity shop anything we've not worn, or no longer want and fold up and pack away all the wardrobe staples we wear year after year. Summer dresses, holiday clothes, majority of my bikinis and beach bags, all get packed away into a suitcase, with other seasonal items, ready for next year.

Our Autumn / Winter staples - coats, boots, jumpers, hats and scarves - then get a dusting off. (I usually do another clear out. I have another four bags ready for the charity shop.) And then I find homes for all the new items. With the weather not being able to make its mind up, our shoe cupboard is heaving. I'm not ready to put away the Birks, but I've needed my ankle boots this week, so there will be another sort out in a few weeks when we're done with our sandals and shorts.

Then I give the rest of the house a once over and get rid of anything else we haven't used in the last 12 months and usually send another box to the charity shop.

We're getting the garden ready for Winter too. Packing away the Summer essentials so they don't get ruined. Clearing out plant pots and getting everything ready so we can keep on top of the weeds over the Winter months.

The changing weather means we stay in a lot more, so my focus is massively on our home right now. It's coming up to a year since we moved in and we've done a few basic tidy up jobs, and the garden got a good seeing to over the summer, but now it's time to accessorise. I am so excited about this.

When we moved in we gave ourselves a blank canvas that we can add accessories to and change up as we wanted to. I've been planning each room and buying little bits, to add to the look over the last year, but now the Summer's over, I'm upping my search.

I'll be looking for new pictures to add a touch of colour. I got this 'Jordan Carter' print. earlier in the year and I'm looking for something to accompany Maurice. (Willing JC to create a Tiger print to buddy him up with!)

I'm finally going to get around to making a macrame plant holder for the corner of my living room.

I'm all about the succulents right now, so I'll be adding to my collection. I'm aiming for at least one in every room. I'm getting quite obsessed with finding new succulents and holders. (Finally I plant I can look after) (Because it needs no looking after!) (Let's not talk about the one I over watered!)

I'm looking for bunting, garlands, pom-poms, lights and fun prints to cover the rest of the house. I've got loads of ideas and I'm spending a lot of time on Pinterest planning each room. You can check out my Pinterest account 'here'.

With my Summer wardrobe safely packed away, I'm setting my sights on Autumn/Winter fashion. The internet is abuzz with London fashion week and it's giving me lots of inspiration for my own wardrobe.

My style has been a work in progress over the years. I've never really known what my style was and have often made silly purchases. This is the first year I feel like I really know what I want for my seasonal wardrobe and I'm looking forward to finding some key pieces that will take me straight through to Spring.

I'm looking at more ripped jeans and fitted t-shirts, ankle boots, trainers for running around after my little boy and a good pair of shoes to see me through more formal days. Chunky jumpers will of course play a very important part of my new wardrobe.

I chopped all my hair off last Autumn, and I'm finally finding my way with it so it's going to be fun bringing it all together.

The change in weather means a change up in the colours I'm wearing too. I swop my bright pinks and coral nails for a more toned down shade of red round about now and I love it. It also means a change in products and make up. I love finding new products to get my skin through the cold months.

My skin has changed a lot in the last couple of years. There are definite signs of ageing popping up and the sleepless nights have really caught up with me, so it's time to re look at the products I use to fight the lines and stock up on the make up for disguising it!

I'll keep you posted on the new purchases.

I don't really need a seasonal excuse to get my planner out. I love to sit down and organise our lives, so we know where we are each week, what needs to be done and plan in any jobs that need to be tackled. The Summer holidays seemed to knock our routine right out the window, so I am back on it in full force.

The next few months are typically really busy for us. There are a lot of birthdays, work for both myself and my husband seems to peak at this time of year and everything just seems to be happening at once. (Maybe the lazy Summer has something to do with it?) So it's really important that I plan our weeks so I can fit everything in and keep on top of myself. As well as making sure I get some exercise in and down time too. (because I really need that!)

I try to keep about two weeks ahead of myself with work. You just never know what's around the corner. So I try hard to stay ahead, in case something comes up that means I can't do as much that week.

That means I need to be really organised. I plan the week ahead for all family stuff and make a note of things that need to be done that week. And then plan each day out to fit everything in. I try and do a meal plan every week and shop around that. Most of the time we stick to it and when we do it works really well. Some weeks all the planning gets too much and we end up winging it. It always ends up in a more expensive shop and some slightly unhealthier choices, but sometimes I just need to move away from a plan and relax.

Now I've got us all Autumn/Winter ready, I feel like I can relax a bit. I know, pretty much, what we've got to do in the next four months and I'm so looking forward to some cosy Sunday afternoons watching movies with my boys in our home. 

How do you get ready for winter? Come chat to me on my Facebook page 'A Zest of Gem' 

Remembering to Have Fun With a Touch of Roald Dahl Magic

I haven't been at my happiest lately. I'm not looking after myself and it's taking it's toll. I've been stressing out about things I've had no control over and feeling super stressed about it. It's meant I've been very serious and totally boring, so I decided to do something about it and get some fun back into my life. 

I was feeling the need for some laughter and silliness so I dug out some of my old books and came across a collection that brought an instant smile to my face. 

Roald Dahl is an absolute hero of mine. I read all of his books as a child, I've seen all the movies and I just love finding out new facts about this incredible man. When I found out I was pregnant, back in 2011, one of the first things I did was to get a brand new collection of Roald Dahl books ready to read to my child. When I spotted them on our book shelf my face beamed, this was just what I needed. So, I started reading them all again - and it's given me an instant happiness boost. 

From the amazing illustrations of Quentin Blake, to Roald's talent for expressive story telling and fantabulously made up words, I find myself laughing out loud as I remember what happens next and smiling like a Cheshire cat at the wonderful, off the wall tales and hilarious characters. 

One of my favourite's is Boy - a short collection of stories of Roald's school years. His accounts of the terrible way children were treated by adults back then and the way he dealt with so many, rather disturbing, encounters grab every inch of my heart and, just like all of his stories, leave me wanting to know and hear more from this incredible man.

So far, my son has discovered Fantastic Mr Fox and I just can't wait to share the magical world of Roald Dahl with him when he's a little older, until then, I'll continue to boost my happiness with his magic words. 

Coincidently, it's Roald Dahl day on Sunday 13th September. It would've been his 99th birthday! I love the fact children today are still enjoying his tales and so many budding writers continue to be influenced and embraced by his legacy. The mark of a true legend and wonderful man. Here's to you, Boy, thank you for reminding me who I am. 

Why I rebranded my personal Facebook page - and why you should too

Have you ever been so riled by a Facebook comment that it's effected your day? Or are you just sick and tired of hearing from people you'd rather had been left with your compass at school?

After I had my son, I made a decision to delete my personal Facebook account, for this very reason.

Annoying comments from people I hadn't seen in 15 years, seeing attention seeking posts from people I didn't even like, requests from people I certainly didn't want in my life - this stuff was taking up precious time in my life. Time I should've been spending with my newborn baby. But you know the addiction is real!

It was quite a tough decision to make. I had years of photos, I'd never see again and lots of lovely memories with people I still held close. But, for me, it was the right thing to do. I was far too affected by people and their actions back then and the only way I felt I could make a change in my life was to delete and start again.

B E S T  D E C I S I O N  E V E R

I held off creating a new account for a while, sticking to Twitter and Instagram to share photos of my beautiful new baby and engage with other like-minded Mama's. A year or so later, I decided I needed Facebook in my life again. I created a new account and now I only 'friend' other like-minded Mama's and lovely ladies who I want to hear from. 

I've avoided connecting with family members and anyone outside of this 'gang' to avoid the same problems I had before. Not everyone likes it. Do I care? Not really. There are other ways of connecting with people and anyone I want in my life will be in my life whether Facebook exists or not. 

When I see people complaining about childhood friends and seeing their exes on Facebook. I realise once again what a burden it had been for me. 

If Facebook is getting you down, you have to do something about it. Now. Life will go on without it. I promise you. 

It's a great tool for so many reasons, but if it's causing any form of negativity in your life, ditch that shit now. Just deleting or hiding certain folk from your timeline might help but with a complete refresh, you avoid the time hop style posts haunting you later down the line. 

Back up your photos, re connect with the people you love hearing from, give another platform a try (you'll be surprised how many of your friends are already on there) and feel that same release I did 3 and a half years ago. 

Don't sweat the small stuff - why I stick to moderation and release the guilt

About a year ago, I was getting myself into a total tizz about the food we were eating, the products we were using and generally what we were doing in our daily lives.

I read a lot. I love a good bit of fiction, but mainly I read blogs and articles online. I subscribe to blogs covering all sorts, from natural parenting, natural food, attachment parenting, daily habits, kindness, organisation, zen and meditation, to fitness, healthy eating, nutrition, montessori, alternative medicines... to name just a few. These are some wide ranging genres of the things I'm interested in, things I believe in and things I'd like to have more of in my life.

Problem is, I was reading so much about; the effects shouting can have on kids, problems with ingredients in different foods, why not to eat certain foods, why it's best to eat other foods, what you should be doing with your 3yo, exercise regimes, toxicity in cleaning products, ingredients in our daily toiletries, and so on, not to mention all the new interesting things I've found out about along the way, it left my head in a total spin.

It stressed me out because I was trying to do it all and feeling guilty when I didn't manage it or when I did the things I knew weren't good for me, or my family.

There's so much out there, from people trying to help us have the 'perfect life' with limited toxins, making the most of every hour of our day, eating only the right foods, and generally being the best we can be, it can all get a bit too much.

I was trying to do it all. But, for me, it's just not possible.

I got caught up in a spiral of guilt and headaches for a while, until I realised what I really needed to do was to chill the fuck out and focus on what works for me.

Moderation makes everything good in my life

You see, I can't only buy natural or make all of my own cleaning and beauty products - I don't have the time, the money, or the inclination.

I don't want to completely cut sugar out of my life. I like banana's and when I'm feeling like shit, devouring a box of cookies is exactly what I should be doing. And I can't afford to buy just organic produce and only shop at independent stores.

Some days, I don't want to follow my to do list. Some days, I physically or mentally can't.

Some days I spend too much time shouting and getting frustrated with the little things (and my little one!)

Sometimes I can't be there for anyone but myself.

There are some weekends where I don't want to take my child swimming, go for walks in the wood or play Lego. Some times I just want to stay in and watch movies. Do nothing and see no one.

Some months are so packed full of birthday's and outings, or general house and car stuff, I don't have the money to buy much of the organic, natural ingredients that I'd so love to have our fridge full of every day. And when I'm busy, I don't have the time to source gifts and lovely things for my home from fabulous independent shops that I love so much, so Asda and Amazon just have to do.

Some days, I spend more time looking at my phone than I do noticing anything around me.

And then there are some weeks where nothing goes right, we eat nothing but crap and I don't get a thing done on my to do list.

But I'm OK with that (most of the time!) And do you know why? 

Because I know MOST OF THE TIME we eat well and I organise our lives and our budget so we can do the things we like to do and need to do. Most of the time, I can handle the toddler tantrums and the crazy sleeping patterns. Most of the time, I can be there for my friends when they need me. Most of the time, I do the things that I know make our lives better. And...

ALL OF THE TIME I do the best I can right now.

Try not to be too hard on yourself if you don't feel like you're achieving everything you want to be doing at this very moment in time.

It's great to be aware of new things that could make your life better and it's always good to know what's in the food and products we're consuming on a daily basis. But don't worry if it doesn't mean you throw out the entire contents under your kitchen sink or stop buying your favourite foundation, or even that you just read about it and do absolutely nothing else. Stop beating yourself up because you're not doing the things everyone around you seems to be doing.

If there are things you want to do. Do them.

If you're not happy with yourself or something in your life. Change it.

But don't beat yourself up when you go back to old habits. Keep trying, if that's what you want to do. Get help, if you need it.

If you see other people trying new things or shouting about their achievements and interests, don't shoot them down either. Just because it isn't right for you, doesn't mean that everyone feels like that. Congratulate your friends and just dam well delete or hide anyone that makes you feel like shit. You do not need that in your life.

Writing this has just reminded me of a quote I saw on Gala Darling's Facebook feed the other day:

'Gentle reminder: you can uplift yourself without having to bring others down. You can embrace your curves without having to insult skinny girls. You can appreciate your natural beauty without having to shame girls who wear a lot of makeup or who have gotten plastic surgery. You can be the girl who likes staying home without having to criticize the girl who likes to party and have a good time. You can be proud of your unique individuality without having to brag about how different you are from other girls. Similarly, you can empower yourself without having to tear other women down. Other women are not your competition.' Kaja.

What a wonderful thing to say. Can you imagine how good you would feel if you followed that little mantra in life?

It's taken me years of guilt and self torture to work out my moderation and feel happy in my own skin. Of course I still have days when I feel guilty and I worry about silly things all the time (they don't feel silly at the time of course!), but I know that those little things don't matter in the grand scheme of things and I'm doing everything I can to be exactly who I want to be and do exactly what I need to do. And on the days I can't remember that, I now have this post to remind myself.

Be Happy as you.

Rock The Frock - why I had a photo shoot after my wedding day

Oh I love looking at these photos. They were so much fun and bring back so many memories. That's why I wanted to share this story with you.

We got married in Greece in May 2011 and when we came back I'd arranged a Rock the Frock shoot. I did it for two reasons.

1. I didn't know if the photos from Greece would be any good. (they were great, I needn't have worried)

2. I wanted a set of photos that we were having some fun in.

Let me explain.

We had loads of fun on our wedding day, of course we did, and I love the photos we've got from that day. However, the day itself was such a whirlwind we found ourselves rushing through the photos to get on to the next thing and to avoid holding our guests up too much.

I wanted to come back all refreshed and happy from our holiday and just have some fun and let our hair down a bit. I wanted to be able to have some quirky photos of us together that we could blow up for our walls.

And, I wanted an excuse to wear my dress again. Of course!

I booked Chris Barber (he's awesome btw) to take the photos and decided I wanted to go all out with the hair and make up, so I booked the amazing Elbie van Eeden to join us for the day. I created a mood board with ideas for two looks and between us, we gathered props and found a wicked location just around the corner from where I was living at the time.

It was such a fun day.

I started off with a laid back, etheral look. Where Elbie curled my hair (look how long it is!), and gave me a natural make up look. Chris worked his magic with the photo lens and created some amazing shots, that I just love.

After we had those photos taken in the field, I ended up fainting. I stupidly hadn't eaten and, what I didn't know was, I was pregnant with my son. Then it chucked it down, so we all hid under a tree and got some more great photos. (Once the colour had come back in my cheeks!) 

With the second look, I wanted to channel my inner 80s child. So I asked Elbie and Chris to make it 80s themed. Of course, the crimpers came out! 

We ended up setting up a make shift 'behind the scenes' video set. We laughed, a lot.

A hell of a lot. 

I love that these photos mark a new chapter in our lives and the fact our tiny little embryo was with us the whole time. I would thoroughly recommend a Rock the Frock shoot after you get married. It was a great way of making the celebrations last a little bit longer too. 

My Wedding Day Look - being me on my big day

When it came to our wedding, neither my husband or I wanted a traditional day. We went to Greece with a small group of family and our closest friends. (I say 'small' it didn't turn out small - there were 80 of us in the end!) We had our ceremony on Cameo Island in Zante, followed by a Greek BBQ for our reception.

We didn't have flowers or a cake (although that was because I forgot to source the cheeses!) (I was too busy at the sambuca bar), our guests sat by who they knew, the top table consisted of both of our families, mine sat next to me and my husband's next to him. We had tea towels for wedding invites. My friend read a Lionel Richie song, the ceremony lasted about 5 minutes. My bouquet was made out of brooches. And we celebrated for two weeks. 

It was a lot of fun and exactly what we wanted. 

When it came to my wedding look. I wanted even less tradition. I wanted to look like myself. 

I don't wear much make up and I rarely tied my hair up. I never curl it. I don't often wear jewellery. But when I do, it's big and chunky. 

When we first got engaged, I was bombarded with traditional wedding ideas. 

Curly up dos. 

Dainty necklaces. 

White, satin shoes. 

I looked and looked. But it didn't matter whether it was a Choo or a Tiffany or how beautiful it all was and how amazing it looked on other people. It wasn't me. 

So I looked beyond the traditional.

I went to the high street and in the end my look was exactly what I wanted.

It was me. 

What I Wore

My beautiful shoes were from Young British Designers, by Sophie Gittins. I will forever be grateful to Deborah at YBD who gifted me these stunning shoes for my day. Thank you Deborah. My shoe angel. 

They were exactly what I was looking for and they were so comfortable too. 

I wear them with jeans and dresses on nights out now. They're a constant reminder of my special day. 

I chose a necklace from Butler and Wilson. I wanted statement. I got statement! 

My dress was Suzanne Neville and the Headband was by Chez Bec.

My make up was all from Mac and my sister in law who, lucky me owns her own spa and beauty salon, did my make up. I went for a simple fishtail plait and lucky me again, my Mum and close friend are hairdressers and sorted it out between them. 

My bouquet was from Tiny Gems and was made out of brooches from our Grandparents and my Grandad's medal of honour. (and it's since been used at my brother's wedding and will hopefully be used at many more weddings in our family.) 

I like the fact I can look back now and see who I was right there and then. Before the baby and the sleepless nights took their toll.

I can't believe it was all just 4 years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time.

How did you decide on your wedding day look? Come over to my Facebook page 'A Zest of Gem' and share your photos. I'd love to see them.

5 ways I organise my day to get some me time

I recently discovered that making time for myself has a big impact on my wellbeing. It's a revelation and it's made a big difference to my life. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant. Catching up with some favourite TV will do. But just having time to myself, to collect my thoughts and take a breath in a hectic day, is the difference between a home of harmony and a house full of stress. (for me anyway)

My mood affects the rest of the house entirely. I'm cranky with my husband and short tempered with my son, if I've rushed around all day, unorganised and chaotic. However, I can handle the (sometimes) ridiculous requests, pants on the floor and toddler tantrums if I've made an effort to organise myself enough to fit some time for myself into my week. It's not always easy, but here's how I do it: 

Write Down Your To Do List

Planning out the day ahead makes the world of difference to my day. If I have a plan of attack and know what I absolutely must get done that day, I'll get up and get on with it. If I wake up without that list (I do love a list!) I'll make my excuses to stay in bed. The list in my head is way too disorganised and hard to figure out on the spot. (and my memory is atrocious, so I forget it if I don't write it down)

Make Your Time a Priority

Do you ever include your own time on your to do list? I bet you don't. I rarely did either. But since I started to, I stopped feeling guilty about doing nothing for half an hour. It's on my list, it's important and it makes my day better. So whether it's something you do when you first get up, before everyone else is awake, a lunch break shop or coffee date, sitting down while your little one naps, or 5 minutes of meditation before you go to bed, put it on your list and make sure it's ticked off at the end of the day.

Plan the Night Before

Going back to point 1. If I haven't pre planned my day then it'll be a non starter. My evening's consist of getting everything ready for the next day. Our clothes are set out, bags by the door (if it's an early start), dinner is planned and everything is in it's place. So I can get up and make as few decisions in the morning, as possible. (I am not a morning person)

Make a Commitment and Get Out

If you struggle to just sit at home and do nothing, make a date with a friend or by yourself, and stick to it. Go out for coffee, go to a friend's house, take a walk. As long as it's not work or a chore, it counts as you time. I find just having a walk without any distractions (leave that phone at home) gives me enough time to just clear my head and get myself ready for the next part of the day.

Give Guilt the Cold Shoulder

In the past, I've berated myself for having time off. With a busy schedule, working for myself and a toddler, I always felt like the time to myself was just a way of putting things off or being lazy. (sometimes it was!) Sitting on my arse watching the Good Wife at 1 in the afternoon seemed like a waste of my time, when I should've been cleaning. But that hour 'off' makes such a difference to my day, and my family, that I no longer feel guilty. Stop beating yourself up. If that coffee date or TV catch up makes you feel better, you'll be better and everything else will fall into place.

It's not much and, as long as I plan, having time to myself doesn't have a negative effect on anything else I need to do. If anything, that down time helps give me motivation to get things done, so I can get to that point of the day, and it gives me a boost for tackling what lies ahead. 

I know it's tough to put yourself first, especially when you have other people relying on you. But seriously, if you're not at your best how can the rest of your life be at it's best? You're important. Never forget that. 

A Kindness Challenge

I'm writing this with a sad heart today. In the last few weeks, I've lost count of the horrible encounters I've with different people and situations that have made me feel upset, uncomfortable and sometimes threatened. It's really put me on edge.

It all started with an elderly couple, who pushed in front of me at a queue, then had a go at me for being on my phone and not paying attention, (the queue was long, I was replying to a text message while I waited), on a 3 minute journey to pick my son up I get drivers cutting me up, driving up my arse, no one letting me out on busy roads and other people getting abusive when I let someone out. The week continued with more encounters with angry, grumpy and down right rude people. To top it off someone let their dog crap on my doormat! Right smack, bang in the middle of the mat my 3 year old usually jumps out on as we leave our house and then a salesman asked me 'why I'd decided to cut my hair off, when it looked so nice long.' (I know) Then a friend and I, with our kids, were followed by a very strange character around our local wood area. Which made us feel very vulnerable. (So much so, my friend reported him to the local police, just in case)

Those are just a few of the things that happened over a two week period. But I'm forever coming across individuals who just have no concern for the people around them or the effect their actions have on others. 

I'm not one for a confrontation (anymore!) but I'm also not the kind of person who will be pushed around or treated badly. I will shout up when it's necessary to do so. Tell my twenties-argumentative-feisty-fight-ready self that, and she'd laugh in your face, but that's who I am now. I will let it go after the tenth person lets the door slam in my face, I take deep breaths as I walk into the road to let yet another person hog the path, I try very hard not to let it bother me when people don't say thank you for [letting them out, holding a door open, moving out the way, telling them they've dropped something] I try VERY hard. But after so many encounters of bad manners, selfish actions and unkindness, it's got to me. It has really got to me. So much so I didn't want to go anywhere by myself over the weekend.

I felt vulnerable.

I felt incredibly anxious.

I felt pissed off that a bunch of strangers had made me feel like that. 

And, I felt really annoyed with myself for letting them make me feel that way. 

I'm sure half these people are just having a bad day, or have no idea how they've made me feel. 

But that's still not ok. 

How often do you stop and think about the people around you? Or wonder what they might be going through today? How often has a complete stranger upset you? Do you beep your horn or get agro with someone for holding you up? Or tut and mutter about strangers? Do you walk down the street with your head in your phone, not considering the people around you? 

Most of the time, we walk through life with little or no thought about the strangers we pass in the street. Or the impact our actions can have on them. 

I think it's about time we all started making more of an effort to spread some loving kindness. Don't you? 

Your 'Kindness Challenge', should you choose to accept, is to make the little things count. It doesn't have to be big. But set yourself a day where you're going to make an effort to be kind to everyone you encounter. Don't limit it to strangers either. I'm pretty sure my husband is the one who takes the brunt of every mood I'm feeling. So I'm going to make sure I include him on my kindness list. (There may even be beer involved!)

Here are a few ideas:

Remember to say 'please' and 'thank you' to everyone. It amazes me how many people don't. Manners are free!

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Check behind your shoulder as you leave a room/shop and hold the door open for the next person

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Let a car out of a junction on a busy road. (my theory is that if we each let 1 car out per person, there wouldn't be as many queues?) 

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Acknowledge the shop assistant/waiter/waitress serving you. Wish them a good day as you leave.

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Leave some change on a parking meter for the next person.

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Offer to help someone carry their shopping or with something they're struggling with. I spotted an elderly man who was struggling to push his trolly back and use his crutches. So I offered to take the trolly back for him and collected his £1 at the same time.

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Smile, shrug it off and take a deep breath when someone isn't kind to you. I know it's hard when you're the one who is ALWAYS being courteous to others, but suck it up. It's you who will feel better for walking off with your head high and a smile on your face.

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Don't hold a grudge. (yes, for a whole day!)

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Don't make any comments or insults about or to other people. Muttering under your breath is not becoming and it isn't necessary.

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Send a friend a note to let them know you're thinking of them. (No, a text does not count. Post it through their door) (Or get the postie to do it)

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Use kind words for the whole day. (stay away from the Grocery store and post office while you're doing this one) No bitching, no judging, just kindness. If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

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Bring in your neighbour's bins. 

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Make sure you park inside the lines of your parking space. Whether you're 'just nipping in' or not. And just consider other people that will want to park next to you.

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Compliment someone - whether it's great service, a great outfit or a well behaved kid. We're so quick to complain when things aren't as they should be. We should be as quick to compliment and give praise. 

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Phone your Gran or another family member, just to see how they are.

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Wish passers by a good morning/afternoon/evening. (They don't always say it back, but stay focussed, it'll make someones day)

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Feel free to make this as big as you want to. Go all out and help a charity, buy a stranger a meal, wash someone else's car, walk someones dog, pop in for a cuppa with a lonely neighbour, if you can. But even if you just walk with a kind mind, I guarantee your day will be better. And you might even make someone else's day better. I know I could really do with bumping into a person on a kindness mission. 

Coincidently, while I was writing this post I came across 'FirgunDay' - it's an international day of kindness on 17th July. How perfect to start your challenge. Let's spread some kindness. Check out the website 'here'. 

I would love to hear how you get on over on my Facebook page and Twitter profile use #kindnesschallenge if you fancy. I'll be posting more ideas on the page throughout the week and on Friday for Firgun Day. Please share your act of kindness, how your day went and inspire other people to do the same. You could make it a challenge for your whole family or a group of friends with a prize at the end. Have some fun with it. As long as it involves kindness, that's all you have to stick to. I can't wait to hear how you got on. Enjoy.

10 Tips to Cut Down on Sugar - IRL

SUGAR! There doesn’t seem to be a week that goes by where the media aren’t talking about it. It’s being given a pretty bad rap and for many a good reason.

The thing is, this is a pretty big deal for me. I'm from a generation brought up eating processed food at pretty much every meal, with sugary snacks in between. And innocently so. My parents certainly weren't aware of the health implications of so much sugar in our diets. And neither was I, until very recently. It's obvious to most of us that biscuits, sweets, fizzy drinks and the like, have sugar involved. But the extent of products that contain sugar goes beyond Haribo. It really is a big deal. It's also something a lot of people don't want to believe and something people who do believe it, like me, find very difficult to change. 

Whatever your feelings. It's something we need to be aware of.

I've read up a lot about the health implications of having too much sugar in your diet and I've got books about quitting sugar all together. 

I get it and I want to reduce our sugar intake. 

However as much as I’d like to declare ‘I’m cutting out all refined sugars forever.’ I just know it’s not going to happen like that.

I am much more aware of the ingredients in our food these days though and consciously look out for, and avoid, sugar loaded products when we're shopping. 

Unfortunately, it's not that easy. 

Too many of the brands we believe are sugar free and healthy, are in fact loaded with sugars and even have added sugar. 

Of course, it's incredibly hard to avoid all sugars. And actually, I'm not sure i want to do that. I avoid processed foods and refined sugar wherever I can, but I won't be cutting out my favourite fruits and homemade juices, and chocolate and biscuits will still be my sweet treats. Just not as often. 

Moderation my friends! It's all about moderation! 

I made a decision a couple of years ago that I would cut down on the amount of refined sugar I have. It’s hard to keep it up though. Especially when you’re a sauce fiend like I am. I’ve either had ketchup, salad cream or mayo, and sometimes all three, as well as a blob of BBQ sauce, on most of my meals (even in sandwiches) for as long as I can remember. It’s been a habit for so many years. The problem is, it tastes so dam good. And that’s the biggest issue we have. Our minds react to a sugar hit by making us feel good, so we want it more and more. It makes total sense then, that you just can’t resist buying that can of coke when you pass the huge marketing display in the supermarket. Your mind is telling you ‘buy it, taste the sugar, you’ll feel great’.

But, sadly, it isn’t good for us. No one can deny that. So I really do want to cut it down as much as I can. For myself and also for my young son. If I can start his life by getting him hooked on naturally delicious foods rather than processed varieties, I’m hoping he won’t get into the same bad habits as I have.

I’m still a long way off kicking the habit completely. I’ve definitely been a sugar addict in the past. I still crave a sugary ‘treat’ after some meals. During my period it’s all I can do to stop myself from bathing in a tub of melted Galaxy. But I’m working on it. I’ve been working on it and I’ll continue to work on it in the way that suits me, until I’m at a place where I’m happy with my sugar intake. (or lack of)

If you’re up for reducing your sugar intake too I’d love for you to join me. I need all the support I can get. So I’ll share the information I find out about sugar, I’ll keep you posted on the things I'm doing and I’ll also share my recipes along the way. 

To kick things off, here are my top 10 tips to help you start your sugar ass kicking journey;

KICK SUGAR’S BUTT 

with my sugar reducing tips

Quit the obvious stuff

I started reducing my sugar intake by cutting out fizzy drinks and sweets completely. There is just so much crap in a can of coke. There are so many scientifically proven facts that tell us this is stuff is nothing but bad for us. I went years ignoring the facts and carried on drinking it. But once i made the decision to look after my body it just made sense to cut the obvious shit. I used to drink a lot of coke. I was drinking a can or more a day when I first had my son. I thought that was the way I'd get through the sleep deprivation. It was also my drink of choice whenever we went out for something to eat (when wine wasn’t on the cards) so I had to break the habit. But I did it and I haven’t had a coke for over two years. And now I don’t even want one. (I never thought I'd say that!)

Make it easy on yourself

Stop buying it! I stopped buying chocolate, sweets and biscuits when I did our food shop. That way, when I fancy a bar of chocolate, I have to go out and buy it (or send my husband out!) so it’s never just in the cupboard for me to pick at. Likewise, I can’t give in to my moaning toddler when he’s asking for a biscuit. It stopped the habit of nipping into the cupboard when my son was napping and where I was probably eating chocolate every day, I can now go a whole week without even thinking about it. (I’m getting there!)

Set yourself a goal

I knew I couldn’t (and still can’t) cut sugar completely all in one go. It’s been almost two years of gradually changing habits. And each thing I’ve cut out or down on has been a conscious decision I’ve made. Take it at the pace you need to. (and of course speak to your doctor if you have any health concerns!)

Eat really great food

I can honestly say I don’t miss any of the foods I no longer eat. I did. I craved it for ages. Of course, I haven’t cut it out completely, I’ll eat biscuits and chocolate, have sauce on my dinner, when I want to. (although it’s not as often as it used to be and it’s getting less and less as I go on) What I do is to have fun with food. I choose really great natural foods instead of the processed stuff. I love trying different things and I’ve even made my own raw chocolate bars. So I still have my sweet fix, when I want it. But now it’s a better kind of sweet fix. Experiment with different foods and have some fun with it so you don’t miss the sugar.

Talk to the experts

If you’re really serious about cutting out sugar and you know you can’t do it by yourself, there are plenty of resources out there. From quit sugar courses to nutritional therapists who can help devise you a new eating plan, so you can swap your fake sugar fix with the natural kind. There are also books and 100’s upon 100’s of blog posts out there from people who have kicked the habit. Google ‘how to quit sugar’ and be astounded by the amount the internet has to offer. Before you make any big decisions always talk to your doctor about health implications for you. I’m not a trained expert, so speak to one if you’re unsure about anything. This is all stuff I've done, knowing my own body and what's right for me. Ensure you know what's right for you too.

Stay away from packaged foods

I’ve stopped buying any pre-packed food. Microwave meals and anything else where they are pre-made and packaged up can be loaded with sugar. If you’re serious about reducing your sugar intake stop buying them and start making all your own meals from scratch. If you’re one for pasta sauces in a jar and have a freezer full of pre-made lasagne and cottage pies for your ‘can’t be arsed to cook’ days, this is going to be a pretty scary concept, but it’s not as hard as it sounds. You can whip up a tasty pasta sauce in no time and that goes for just about everything else too. It’s not hard to make your favourite dishes from scratch. And it doesn’t have to take long either.

Do it with a friend

Nothing’s as hard when you’ve got support. If you’ve got a friend who wants to cut out sugar, make a pact and do it together. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who don’t want to change what they eat and plenty more that don’t understand it. (I have a lot of those people in my life) Don’t focus on their negativity, leave them to it and focus on supporting your friend and know that it’s you that will benefit in the long run. Haters be haters after all.

Get out 

If this is a big deal to you and you’re finding it hard. I definitely did (and sometimes still do!). Leave the house and stop thinking about it. Go for a walk, meet a friend (preferably the one you’re doing the sugar kick with), take a few deep breaths and then eat some really great sugar-free food.

Stick with it

I know it’s hard. It’s really hard. But I promise, it’ll be worth it. I’ve never felt so good as I do when I’ve eaten nothing but naturally created foods. My skin is better, I look better, I feel great and I’ve got more energy now than I’ve ever had before. (And I felt like that with the least amount of sleep I’ve ever had, running around after a toddler) Cutting down on sugar really has helped me in so many ways. I hope, one day, I’ll be able to be completely sugar free. I can only imagine how good I’ll feel then.

Reward yourself 

Yes you deserve it. Cutting sugar is hard. It’s everywhere. So when you reach your goals, treat yourself to something you really want.

If you’ve been considering cutting the amount of sugar you’re having, I hope this gives you the little push you needed to give it a go. And I really hope you start reaping the benefits, like I have.

However, please bear in mind that I am not a medical expert or trained nutritionist, so if you have any health issues, please check with your doctor before making any changes to your diet. This is what works for me, but everyone is different. 

Here are a few articles and recipes I've found, that you might like: 

I love Gabby Bernstein Here are her tips for quitting sugar.

There are a lot of books out there. I’ve got ‘IQuit Sugar’ by Sarah Wilson. It’s great for giving you something to follow and includes lots of great recipes. Worth getting in my opinion. (it's only £5 on Amazon at the moment too)

Sarah’swebsite is full of great info too.

And I’m constantly pinning recipes and health tips on my Pinterest page if you want to check it out.

I'd love to hear how you're cutting down on sugar. Please share your stories and advice on my Facebook page or pop over and say Hi on Twitter or Instagram (azestofgem for both)