I'm writing this with a sad heart today. In the last few weeks, I've lost count of the horrible encounters I've with different people and situations that have made me feel upset, uncomfortable and sometimes threatened. It's really put me on edge.
It all started with an elderly couple, who pushed in front of me at a queue, then had a go at me for being on my phone and not paying attention, (the queue was long, I was replying to a text message while I waited), on a 3 minute journey to pick my son up I get drivers cutting me up, driving up my arse, no one letting me out on busy roads and other people getting abusive when I let someone out. The week continued with more encounters with angry, grumpy and down right rude people. To top it off someone let their dog crap on my doormat! Right smack, bang in the middle of the mat my 3 year old usually jumps out on as we leave our house and then a salesman asked me 'why I'd decided to cut my hair off, when it looked so nice long.' (I know) Then a friend and I, with our kids, were followed by a very strange character around our local wood area. Which made us feel very vulnerable. (So much so, my friend reported him to the local police, just in case)
Those are just a few of the things that happened over a two week period. But I'm forever coming across individuals who just have no concern for the people around them or the effect their actions have on others.
I'm not one for a confrontation (anymore!) but I'm also not the kind of person who will be pushed around or treated badly. I will shout up when it's necessary to do so. Tell my twenties-argumentative-feisty-
I felt vulnerable.
I felt incredibly anxious.
I felt pissed off that a bunch of strangers had made me feel like that.
And, I felt really annoyed with myself for letting them make me feel that way.
I'm sure half these people are just having a bad day, or have no idea how they've made me feel.
But that's still not ok.
How often do you stop and think about the people around you? Or wonder what they might be going through today? How often has a complete stranger upset you? Do you beep your horn or get agro with someone for holding you up? Or tut and mutter about strangers? Do you walk down the street with your head in your phone, not considering the people around you?
Most of the time, we walk through life with little or no thought about the strangers we pass in the street. Or the impact our actions can have on them.
I think it's about time we all started making more of an effort to spread some loving kindness. Don't you?
Your 'Kindness Challenge', should you choose to accept, is to make the little things count. It doesn't have to be big. But set yourself a day where you're going to make an effort to be kind to everyone you encounter. Don't limit it to strangers either. I'm pretty sure my husband is the one who takes the brunt of every mood I'm feeling. So I'm going to make sure I include him on my kindness list. (There may even be beer involved!)
Here are a few ideas:
Remember to say 'please' and 'thank you' to everyone. It amazes me how many people don't. Manners are free!
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Check behind your shoulder as you leave a room/shop and hold the door open for the next person
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Let a car out of a junction on a busy road. (my theory is that if we each let 1 car out per person, there wouldn't be as many queues?)
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Acknowledge the shop assistant/waiter/waitress serving you. Wish them a good day as you leave.
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Leave some change on a parking meter for the next person.
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Offer to help someone carry their shopping or with something they're struggling with. I spotted an elderly man who was struggling to push his trolly back and use his crutches. So I offered to take the trolly back for him and collected his £1 at the same time.
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Smile, shrug it off and take a deep breath when someone isn't kind to you. I know it's hard when you're the one who is ALWAYS being courteous to others, but suck it up. It's you who will feel better for walking off with your head high and a smile on your face.
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Don't hold a grudge. (yes, for a whole day!)
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Don't make any comments or insults about or to other people. Muttering under your breath is not becoming and it isn't necessary.
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Send a friend a note to let them know you're thinking of them. (No, a text does not count. Post it through their door) (Or get the postie to do it)
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Use kind words for the whole day. (stay away from the Grocery store and post office while you're doing this one) No bitching, no judging, just kindness. If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
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Bring in your neighbour's bins.
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Make sure you park inside the lines of your parking space. Whether you're 'just nipping in' or not. And just consider other people that will want to park next to you.
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Compliment someone - whether it's great service, a great outfit or a well behaved kid. We're so quick to complain when things aren't as they should be. We should be as quick to compliment and give praise.
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Phone your Gran or another family member, just to see how they are.
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Wish passers by a good morning/afternoon/evening. (They don't always say it back, but stay focussed, it'll make someones day)
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Feel free to make this as big as you want to. Go all out and help a charity, buy a stranger a meal, wash someone else's car, walk someones dog, pop in for a cuppa with a lonely neighbour, if you can. But even if you just walk with a kind mind, I guarantee your day will be better. And you might even make someone else's day better. I know I could really do with bumping into a person on a kindness mission.
Coincidently, while I was writing this post I came across 'FirgunDay' - it's an international day of kindness on 17th July. How perfect to start your challenge. Let's spread some kindness. Check out the website 'here'.
Coincidently, while I was writing this post I came across 'FirgunDay' - it's an international day of kindness on 17th July. How perfect to start your challenge. Let's spread some kindness. Check out the website 'here'.
I would love to hear how you get on over on my Facebook page and Twitter profile use #kindnesschallenge if you fancy. I'll be posting more ideas on the page throughout the week and on Friday for Firgun Day. Please share your act of kindness, how your day went and inspire other people to do the same. You could make it a challenge for your whole family or a group of friends with a prize at the end. Have some fun with it. As long as it involves kindness, that's all you have to stick to. I can't wait to hear how you got on. Enjoy.
