I recently discovered that making time for myself has a big impact on my wellbeing. It's a revelation and it's made a big difference to my life. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant. Catching up with some favourite TV will do. But just having time to myself, to collect my thoughts and take a breath in a hectic day, is the difference between a home of harmony and a house full of stress. (for me anyway)
My mood affects the rest of the house entirely. I'm cranky with my husband and short tempered with my son, if I've rushed around all day, unorganised and chaotic. However, I can handle the (sometimes) ridiculous requests, pants on the floor and toddler tantrums if I've made an effort to organise myself enough to fit some time for myself into my week. It's not always easy, but here's how I do it:
Write Down Your To Do List
Planning out the day ahead makes the world of difference to my day. If I have a plan of attack and know what I absolutely must get done that day, I'll get up and get on with it. If I wake up without that list (I do love a list!) I'll make my excuses to stay in bed. The list in my head is way too disorganised and hard to figure out on the spot. (and my memory is atrocious, so I forget it if I don't write it down)
Make Your Time a Priority
Do you ever include your own time on your to do list? I bet you don't. I rarely did either. But since I started to, I stopped feeling guilty about doing nothing for half an hour. It's on my list, it's important and it makes my day better. So whether it's something you do when you first get up, before everyone else is awake, a lunch break shop or coffee date, sitting down while your little one naps, or 5 minutes of meditation before you go to bed, put it on your list and make sure it's ticked off at the end of the day.
Plan the Night Before
Going back to point 1. If I haven't pre planned my day then it'll be a non starter. My evening's consist of getting everything ready for the next day. Our clothes are set out, bags by the door (if it's an early start), dinner is planned and everything is in it's place. So I can get up and make as few decisions in the morning, as possible. (I am not a morning person)
Make a Commitment and Get Out
If you struggle to just sit at home and do nothing, make a date with a friend or by yourself, and stick to it. Go out for coffee, go to a friend's house, take a walk. As long as it's not work or a chore, it counts as you time. I find just having a walk without any distractions (leave that phone at home) gives me enough time to just clear my head and get myself ready for the next part of the day.
Give Guilt the Cold Shoulder
In the past, I've berated myself for having time off. With a busy schedule, working for myself and a toddler, I always felt like the time to myself was just a way of putting things off or being lazy. (sometimes it was!) Sitting on my arse watching the Good Wife at 1 in the afternoon seemed like a waste of my time, when I should've been cleaning. But that hour 'off' makes such a difference to my day, and my family, that I no longer feel guilty. Stop beating yourself up. If that coffee date or TV catch up makes you feel better, you'll be better and everything else will fall into place.
It's not much and, as long as I plan, having time to myself doesn't have a negative effect on anything else I need to do. If anything, that down time helps give me motivation to get things done, so I can get to that point of the day, and it gives me a boost for tackling what lies ahead.
I know it's tough to put yourself first, especially when you have other people relying on you. But seriously, if you're not at your best how can the rest of your life be at it's best? You're important. Never forget that.
