Don't sweat the small stuff - why I stick to moderation and release the guilt

About a year ago, I was getting myself into a total tizz about the food we were eating, the products we were using and generally what we were doing in our daily lives.

I read a lot. I love a good bit of fiction, but mainly I read blogs and articles online. I subscribe to blogs covering all sorts, from natural parenting, natural food, attachment parenting, daily habits, kindness, organisation, zen and meditation, to fitness, healthy eating, nutrition, montessori, alternative medicines... to name just a few. These are some wide ranging genres of the things I'm interested in, things I believe in and things I'd like to have more of in my life.

Problem is, I was reading so much about; the effects shouting can have on kids, problems with ingredients in different foods, why not to eat certain foods, why it's best to eat other foods, what you should be doing with your 3yo, exercise regimes, toxicity in cleaning products, ingredients in our daily toiletries, and so on, not to mention all the new interesting things I've found out about along the way, it left my head in a total spin.

It stressed me out because I was trying to do it all and feeling guilty when I didn't manage it or when I did the things I knew weren't good for me, or my family.

There's so much out there, from people trying to help us have the 'perfect life' with limited toxins, making the most of every hour of our day, eating only the right foods, and generally being the best we can be, it can all get a bit too much.

I was trying to do it all. But, for me, it's just not possible.

I got caught up in a spiral of guilt and headaches for a while, until I realised what I really needed to do was to chill the fuck out and focus on what works for me.

Moderation makes everything good in my life

You see, I can't only buy natural or make all of my own cleaning and beauty products - I don't have the time, the money, or the inclination.

I don't want to completely cut sugar out of my life. I like banana's and when I'm feeling like shit, devouring a box of cookies is exactly what I should be doing. And I can't afford to buy just organic produce and only shop at independent stores.

Some days, I don't want to follow my to do list. Some days, I physically or mentally can't.

Some days I spend too much time shouting and getting frustrated with the little things (and my little one!)

Sometimes I can't be there for anyone but myself.

There are some weekends where I don't want to take my child swimming, go for walks in the wood or play Lego. Some times I just want to stay in and watch movies. Do nothing and see no one.

Some months are so packed full of birthday's and outings, or general house and car stuff, I don't have the money to buy much of the organic, natural ingredients that I'd so love to have our fridge full of every day. And when I'm busy, I don't have the time to source gifts and lovely things for my home from fabulous independent shops that I love so much, so Asda and Amazon just have to do.

Some days, I spend more time looking at my phone than I do noticing anything around me.

And then there are some weeks where nothing goes right, we eat nothing but crap and I don't get a thing done on my to do list.

But I'm OK with that (most of the time!) And do you know why? 

Because I know MOST OF THE TIME we eat well and I organise our lives and our budget so we can do the things we like to do and need to do. Most of the time, I can handle the toddler tantrums and the crazy sleeping patterns. Most of the time, I can be there for my friends when they need me. Most of the time, I do the things that I know make our lives better. And...

ALL OF THE TIME I do the best I can right now.

Try not to be too hard on yourself if you don't feel like you're achieving everything you want to be doing at this very moment in time.

It's great to be aware of new things that could make your life better and it's always good to know what's in the food and products we're consuming on a daily basis. But don't worry if it doesn't mean you throw out the entire contents under your kitchen sink or stop buying your favourite foundation, or even that you just read about it and do absolutely nothing else. Stop beating yourself up because you're not doing the things everyone around you seems to be doing.

If there are things you want to do. Do them.

If you're not happy with yourself or something in your life. Change it.

But don't beat yourself up when you go back to old habits. Keep trying, if that's what you want to do. Get help, if you need it.

If you see other people trying new things or shouting about their achievements and interests, don't shoot them down either. Just because it isn't right for you, doesn't mean that everyone feels like that. Congratulate your friends and just dam well delete or hide anyone that makes you feel like shit. You do not need that in your life.

Writing this has just reminded me of a quote I saw on Gala Darling's Facebook feed the other day:

'Gentle reminder: you can uplift yourself without having to bring others down. You can embrace your curves without having to insult skinny girls. You can appreciate your natural beauty without having to shame girls who wear a lot of makeup or who have gotten plastic surgery. You can be the girl who likes staying home without having to criticize the girl who likes to party and have a good time. You can be proud of your unique individuality without having to brag about how different you are from other girls. Similarly, you can empower yourself without having to tear other women down. Other women are not your competition.' Kaja.

What a wonderful thing to say. Can you imagine how good you would feel if you followed that little mantra in life?

It's taken me years of guilt and self torture to work out my moderation and feel happy in my own skin. Of course I still have days when I feel guilty and I worry about silly things all the time (they don't feel silly at the time of course!), but I know that those little things don't matter in the grand scheme of things and I'm doing everything I can to be exactly who I want to be and do exactly what I need to do. And on the days I can't remember that, I now have this post to remind myself.

Be Happy as you.

Rock The Frock - why I had a photo shoot after my wedding day

Oh I love looking at these photos. They were so much fun and bring back so many memories. That's why I wanted to share this story with you.

We got married in Greece in May 2011 and when we came back I'd arranged a Rock the Frock shoot. I did it for two reasons.

1. I didn't know if the photos from Greece would be any good. (they were great, I needn't have worried)

2. I wanted a set of photos that we were having some fun in.

Let me explain.

We had loads of fun on our wedding day, of course we did, and I love the photos we've got from that day. However, the day itself was such a whirlwind we found ourselves rushing through the photos to get on to the next thing and to avoid holding our guests up too much.

I wanted to come back all refreshed and happy from our holiday and just have some fun and let our hair down a bit. I wanted to be able to have some quirky photos of us together that we could blow up for our walls.

And, I wanted an excuse to wear my dress again. Of course!

I booked Chris Barber (he's awesome btw) to take the photos and decided I wanted to go all out with the hair and make up, so I booked the amazing Elbie van Eeden to join us for the day. I created a mood board with ideas for two looks and between us, we gathered props and found a wicked location just around the corner from where I was living at the time.

It was such a fun day.

I started off with a laid back, etheral look. Where Elbie curled my hair (look how long it is!), and gave me a natural make up look. Chris worked his magic with the photo lens and created some amazing shots, that I just love.

After we had those photos taken in the field, I ended up fainting. I stupidly hadn't eaten and, what I didn't know was, I was pregnant with my son. Then it chucked it down, so we all hid under a tree and got some more great photos. (Once the colour had come back in my cheeks!) 

With the second look, I wanted to channel my inner 80s child. So I asked Elbie and Chris to make it 80s themed. Of course, the crimpers came out! 

We ended up setting up a make shift 'behind the scenes' video set. We laughed, a lot.

A hell of a lot. 

I love that these photos mark a new chapter in our lives and the fact our tiny little embryo was with us the whole time. I would thoroughly recommend a Rock the Frock shoot after you get married. It was a great way of making the celebrations last a little bit longer too. 

My Wedding Day Look - being me on my big day

When it came to our wedding, neither my husband or I wanted a traditional day. We went to Greece with a small group of family and our closest friends. (I say 'small' it didn't turn out small - there were 80 of us in the end!) We had our ceremony on Cameo Island in Zante, followed by a Greek BBQ for our reception.

We didn't have flowers or a cake (although that was because I forgot to source the cheeses!) (I was too busy at the sambuca bar), our guests sat by who they knew, the top table consisted of both of our families, mine sat next to me and my husband's next to him. We had tea towels for wedding invites. My friend read a Lionel Richie song, the ceremony lasted about 5 minutes. My bouquet was made out of brooches. And we celebrated for two weeks. 

It was a lot of fun and exactly what we wanted. 

When it came to my wedding look. I wanted even less tradition. I wanted to look like myself. 

I don't wear much make up and I rarely tied my hair up. I never curl it. I don't often wear jewellery. But when I do, it's big and chunky. 

When we first got engaged, I was bombarded with traditional wedding ideas. 

Curly up dos. 

Dainty necklaces. 

White, satin shoes. 

I looked and looked. But it didn't matter whether it was a Choo or a Tiffany or how beautiful it all was and how amazing it looked on other people. It wasn't me. 

So I looked beyond the traditional.

I went to the high street and in the end my look was exactly what I wanted.

It was me. 

What I Wore

My beautiful shoes were from Young British Designers, by Sophie Gittins. I will forever be grateful to Deborah at YBD who gifted me these stunning shoes for my day. Thank you Deborah. My shoe angel. 

They were exactly what I was looking for and they were so comfortable too. 

I wear them with jeans and dresses on nights out now. They're a constant reminder of my special day. 

I chose a necklace from Butler and Wilson. I wanted statement. I got statement! 

My dress was Suzanne Neville and the Headband was by Chez Bec.

My make up was all from Mac and my sister in law who, lucky me owns her own spa and beauty salon, did my make up. I went for a simple fishtail plait and lucky me again, my Mum and close friend are hairdressers and sorted it out between them. 

My bouquet was from Tiny Gems and was made out of brooches from our Grandparents and my Grandad's medal of honour. (and it's since been used at my brother's wedding and will hopefully be used at many more weddings in our family.) 

I like the fact I can look back now and see who I was right there and then. Before the baby and the sleepless nights took their toll.

I can't believe it was all just 4 years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time.

How did you decide on your wedding day look? Come over to my Facebook page 'A Zest of Gem' and share your photos. I'd love to see them.

5 ways I organise my day to get some me time

I recently discovered that making time for myself has a big impact on my wellbeing. It's a revelation and it's made a big difference to my life. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant. Catching up with some favourite TV will do. But just having time to myself, to collect my thoughts and take a breath in a hectic day, is the difference between a home of harmony and a house full of stress. (for me anyway)

My mood affects the rest of the house entirely. I'm cranky with my husband and short tempered with my son, if I've rushed around all day, unorganised and chaotic. However, I can handle the (sometimes) ridiculous requests, pants on the floor and toddler tantrums if I've made an effort to organise myself enough to fit some time for myself into my week. It's not always easy, but here's how I do it: 

Write Down Your To Do List

Planning out the day ahead makes the world of difference to my day. If I have a plan of attack and know what I absolutely must get done that day, I'll get up and get on with it. If I wake up without that list (I do love a list!) I'll make my excuses to stay in bed. The list in my head is way too disorganised and hard to figure out on the spot. (and my memory is atrocious, so I forget it if I don't write it down)

Make Your Time a Priority

Do you ever include your own time on your to do list? I bet you don't. I rarely did either. But since I started to, I stopped feeling guilty about doing nothing for half an hour. It's on my list, it's important and it makes my day better. So whether it's something you do when you first get up, before everyone else is awake, a lunch break shop or coffee date, sitting down while your little one naps, or 5 minutes of meditation before you go to bed, put it on your list and make sure it's ticked off at the end of the day.

Plan the Night Before

Going back to point 1. If I haven't pre planned my day then it'll be a non starter. My evening's consist of getting everything ready for the next day. Our clothes are set out, bags by the door (if it's an early start), dinner is planned and everything is in it's place. So I can get up and make as few decisions in the morning, as possible. (I am not a morning person)

Make a Commitment and Get Out

If you struggle to just sit at home and do nothing, make a date with a friend or by yourself, and stick to it. Go out for coffee, go to a friend's house, take a walk. As long as it's not work or a chore, it counts as you time. I find just having a walk without any distractions (leave that phone at home) gives me enough time to just clear my head and get myself ready for the next part of the day.

Give Guilt the Cold Shoulder

In the past, I've berated myself for having time off. With a busy schedule, working for myself and a toddler, I always felt like the time to myself was just a way of putting things off or being lazy. (sometimes it was!) Sitting on my arse watching the Good Wife at 1 in the afternoon seemed like a waste of my time, when I should've been cleaning. But that hour 'off' makes such a difference to my day, and my family, that I no longer feel guilty. Stop beating yourself up. If that coffee date or TV catch up makes you feel better, you'll be better and everything else will fall into place.

It's not much and, as long as I plan, having time to myself doesn't have a negative effect on anything else I need to do. If anything, that down time helps give me motivation to get things done, so I can get to that point of the day, and it gives me a boost for tackling what lies ahead. 

I know it's tough to put yourself first, especially when you have other people relying on you. But seriously, if you're not at your best how can the rest of your life be at it's best? You're important. Never forget that. 

A Kindness Challenge

I'm writing this with a sad heart today. In the last few weeks, I've lost count of the horrible encounters I've with different people and situations that have made me feel upset, uncomfortable and sometimes threatened. It's really put me on edge.

It all started with an elderly couple, who pushed in front of me at a queue, then had a go at me for being on my phone and not paying attention, (the queue was long, I was replying to a text message while I waited), on a 3 minute journey to pick my son up I get drivers cutting me up, driving up my arse, no one letting me out on busy roads and other people getting abusive when I let someone out. The week continued with more encounters with angry, grumpy and down right rude people. To top it off someone let their dog crap on my doormat! Right smack, bang in the middle of the mat my 3 year old usually jumps out on as we leave our house and then a salesman asked me 'why I'd decided to cut my hair off, when it looked so nice long.' (I know) Then a friend and I, with our kids, were followed by a very strange character around our local wood area. Which made us feel very vulnerable. (So much so, my friend reported him to the local police, just in case)

Those are just a few of the things that happened over a two week period. But I'm forever coming across individuals who just have no concern for the people around them or the effect their actions have on others. 

I'm not one for a confrontation (anymore!) but I'm also not the kind of person who will be pushed around or treated badly. I will shout up when it's necessary to do so. Tell my twenties-argumentative-feisty-fight-ready self that, and she'd laugh in your face, but that's who I am now. I will let it go after the tenth person lets the door slam in my face, I take deep breaths as I walk into the road to let yet another person hog the path, I try very hard not to let it bother me when people don't say thank you for [letting them out, holding a door open, moving out the way, telling them they've dropped something] I try VERY hard. But after so many encounters of bad manners, selfish actions and unkindness, it's got to me. It has really got to me. So much so I didn't want to go anywhere by myself over the weekend.

I felt vulnerable.

I felt incredibly anxious.

I felt pissed off that a bunch of strangers had made me feel like that. 

And, I felt really annoyed with myself for letting them make me feel that way. 

I'm sure half these people are just having a bad day, or have no idea how they've made me feel. 

But that's still not ok. 

How often do you stop and think about the people around you? Or wonder what they might be going through today? How often has a complete stranger upset you? Do you beep your horn or get agro with someone for holding you up? Or tut and mutter about strangers? Do you walk down the street with your head in your phone, not considering the people around you? 

Most of the time, we walk through life with little or no thought about the strangers we pass in the street. Or the impact our actions can have on them. 

I think it's about time we all started making more of an effort to spread some loving kindness. Don't you? 

Your 'Kindness Challenge', should you choose to accept, is to make the little things count. It doesn't have to be big. But set yourself a day where you're going to make an effort to be kind to everyone you encounter. Don't limit it to strangers either. I'm pretty sure my husband is the one who takes the brunt of every mood I'm feeling. So I'm going to make sure I include him on my kindness list. (There may even be beer involved!)

Here are a few ideas:

Remember to say 'please' and 'thank you' to everyone. It amazes me how many people don't. Manners are free!

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Check behind your shoulder as you leave a room/shop and hold the door open for the next person

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Let a car out of a junction on a busy road. (my theory is that if we each let 1 car out per person, there wouldn't be as many queues?) 

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Acknowledge the shop assistant/waiter/waitress serving you. Wish them a good day as you leave.

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Leave some change on a parking meter for the next person.

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Offer to help someone carry their shopping or with something they're struggling with. I spotted an elderly man who was struggling to push his trolly back and use his crutches. So I offered to take the trolly back for him and collected his £1 at the same time.

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Smile, shrug it off and take a deep breath when someone isn't kind to you. I know it's hard when you're the one who is ALWAYS being courteous to others, but suck it up. It's you who will feel better for walking off with your head high and a smile on your face.

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Don't hold a grudge. (yes, for a whole day!)

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Don't make any comments or insults about or to other people. Muttering under your breath is not becoming and it isn't necessary.

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Send a friend a note to let them know you're thinking of them. (No, a text does not count. Post it through their door) (Or get the postie to do it)

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Use kind words for the whole day. (stay away from the Grocery store and post office while you're doing this one) No bitching, no judging, just kindness. If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

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Bring in your neighbour's bins. 

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Make sure you park inside the lines of your parking space. Whether you're 'just nipping in' or not. And just consider other people that will want to park next to you.

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Compliment someone - whether it's great service, a great outfit or a well behaved kid. We're so quick to complain when things aren't as they should be. We should be as quick to compliment and give praise. 

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Phone your Gran or another family member, just to see how they are.

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Wish passers by a good morning/afternoon/evening. (They don't always say it back, but stay focussed, it'll make someones day)

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Feel free to make this as big as you want to. Go all out and help a charity, buy a stranger a meal, wash someone else's car, walk someones dog, pop in for a cuppa with a lonely neighbour, if you can. But even if you just walk with a kind mind, I guarantee your day will be better. And you might even make someone else's day better. I know I could really do with bumping into a person on a kindness mission. 

Coincidently, while I was writing this post I came across 'FirgunDay' - it's an international day of kindness on 17th July. How perfect to start your challenge. Let's spread some kindness. Check out the website 'here'. 

I would love to hear how you get on over on my Facebook page and Twitter profile use #kindnesschallenge if you fancy. I'll be posting more ideas on the page throughout the week and on Friday for Firgun Day. Please share your act of kindness, how your day went and inspire other people to do the same. You could make it a challenge for your whole family or a group of friends with a prize at the end. Have some fun with it. As long as it involves kindness, that's all you have to stick to. I can't wait to hear how you got on. Enjoy.

10 Tips to Cut Down on Sugar - IRL

SUGAR! There doesn’t seem to be a week that goes by where the media aren’t talking about it. It’s being given a pretty bad rap and for many a good reason.

The thing is, this is a pretty big deal for me. I'm from a generation brought up eating processed food at pretty much every meal, with sugary snacks in between. And innocently so. My parents certainly weren't aware of the health implications of so much sugar in our diets. And neither was I, until very recently. It's obvious to most of us that biscuits, sweets, fizzy drinks and the like, have sugar involved. But the extent of products that contain sugar goes beyond Haribo. It really is a big deal. It's also something a lot of people don't want to believe and something people who do believe it, like me, find very difficult to change. 

Whatever your feelings. It's something we need to be aware of.

I've read up a lot about the health implications of having too much sugar in your diet and I've got books about quitting sugar all together. 

I get it and I want to reduce our sugar intake. 

However as much as I’d like to declare ‘I’m cutting out all refined sugars forever.’ I just know it’s not going to happen like that.

I am much more aware of the ingredients in our food these days though and consciously look out for, and avoid, sugar loaded products when we're shopping. 

Unfortunately, it's not that easy. 

Too many of the brands we believe are sugar free and healthy, are in fact loaded with sugars and even have added sugar. 

Of course, it's incredibly hard to avoid all sugars. And actually, I'm not sure i want to do that. I avoid processed foods and refined sugar wherever I can, but I won't be cutting out my favourite fruits and homemade juices, and chocolate and biscuits will still be my sweet treats. Just not as often. 

Moderation my friends! It's all about moderation! 

I made a decision a couple of years ago that I would cut down on the amount of refined sugar I have. It’s hard to keep it up though. Especially when you’re a sauce fiend like I am. I’ve either had ketchup, salad cream or mayo, and sometimes all three, as well as a blob of BBQ sauce, on most of my meals (even in sandwiches) for as long as I can remember. It’s been a habit for so many years. The problem is, it tastes so dam good. And that’s the biggest issue we have. Our minds react to a sugar hit by making us feel good, so we want it more and more. It makes total sense then, that you just can’t resist buying that can of coke when you pass the huge marketing display in the supermarket. Your mind is telling you ‘buy it, taste the sugar, you’ll feel great’.

But, sadly, it isn’t good for us. No one can deny that. So I really do want to cut it down as much as I can. For myself and also for my young son. If I can start his life by getting him hooked on naturally delicious foods rather than processed varieties, I’m hoping he won’t get into the same bad habits as I have.

I’m still a long way off kicking the habit completely. I’ve definitely been a sugar addict in the past. I still crave a sugary ‘treat’ after some meals. During my period it’s all I can do to stop myself from bathing in a tub of melted Galaxy. But I’m working on it. I’ve been working on it and I’ll continue to work on it in the way that suits me, until I’m at a place where I’m happy with my sugar intake. (or lack of)

If you’re up for reducing your sugar intake too I’d love for you to join me. I need all the support I can get. So I’ll share the information I find out about sugar, I’ll keep you posted on the things I'm doing and I’ll also share my recipes along the way. 

To kick things off, here are my top 10 tips to help you start your sugar ass kicking journey;

KICK SUGAR’S BUTT 

with my sugar reducing tips

Quit the obvious stuff

I started reducing my sugar intake by cutting out fizzy drinks and sweets completely. There is just so much crap in a can of coke. There are so many scientifically proven facts that tell us this is stuff is nothing but bad for us. I went years ignoring the facts and carried on drinking it. But once i made the decision to look after my body it just made sense to cut the obvious shit. I used to drink a lot of coke. I was drinking a can or more a day when I first had my son. I thought that was the way I'd get through the sleep deprivation. It was also my drink of choice whenever we went out for something to eat (when wine wasn’t on the cards) so I had to break the habit. But I did it and I haven’t had a coke for over two years. And now I don’t even want one. (I never thought I'd say that!)

Make it easy on yourself

Stop buying it! I stopped buying chocolate, sweets and biscuits when I did our food shop. That way, when I fancy a bar of chocolate, I have to go out and buy it (or send my husband out!) so it’s never just in the cupboard for me to pick at. Likewise, I can’t give in to my moaning toddler when he’s asking for a biscuit. It stopped the habit of nipping into the cupboard when my son was napping and where I was probably eating chocolate every day, I can now go a whole week without even thinking about it. (I’m getting there!)

Set yourself a goal

I knew I couldn’t (and still can’t) cut sugar completely all in one go. It’s been almost two years of gradually changing habits. And each thing I’ve cut out or down on has been a conscious decision I’ve made. Take it at the pace you need to. (and of course speak to your doctor if you have any health concerns!)

Eat really great food

I can honestly say I don’t miss any of the foods I no longer eat. I did. I craved it for ages. Of course, I haven’t cut it out completely, I’ll eat biscuits and chocolate, have sauce on my dinner, when I want to. (although it’s not as often as it used to be and it’s getting less and less as I go on) What I do is to have fun with food. I choose really great natural foods instead of the processed stuff. I love trying different things and I’ve even made my own raw chocolate bars. So I still have my sweet fix, when I want it. But now it’s a better kind of sweet fix. Experiment with different foods and have some fun with it so you don’t miss the sugar.

Talk to the experts

If you’re really serious about cutting out sugar and you know you can’t do it by yourself, there are plenty of resources out there. From quit sugar courses to nutritional therapists who can help devise you a new eating plan, so you can swap your fake sugar fix with the natural kind. There are also books and 100’s upon 100’s of blog posts out there from people who have kicked the habit. Google ‘how to quit sugar’ and be astounded by the amount the internet has to offer. Before you make any big decisions always talk to your doctor about health implications for you. I’m not a trained expert, so speak to one if you’re unsure about anything. This is all stuff I've done, knowing my own body and what's right for me. Ensure you know what's right for you too.

Stay away from packaged foods

I’ve stopped buying any pre-packed food. Microwave meals and anything else where they are pre-made and packaged up can be loaded with sugar. If you’re serious about reducing your sugar intake stop buying them and start making all your own meals from scratch. If you’re one for pasta sauces in a jar and have a freezer full of pre-made lasagne and cottage pies for your ‘can’t be arsed to cook’ days, this is going to be a pretty scary concept, but it’s not as hard as it sounds. You can whip up a tasty pasta sauce in no time and that goes for just about everything else too. It’s not hard to make your favourite dishes from scratch. And it doesn’t have to take long either.

Do it with a friend

Nothing’s as hard when you’ve got support. If you’ve got a friend who wants to cut out sugar, make a pact and do it together. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who don’t want to change what they eat and plenty more that don’t understand it. (I have a lot of those people in my life) Don’t focus on their negativity, leave them to it and focus on supporting your friend and know that it’s you that will benefit in the long run. Haters be haters after all.

Get out 

If this is a big deal to you and you’re finding it hard. I definitely did (and sometimes still do!). Leave the house and stop thinking about it. Go for a walk, meet a friend (preferably the one you’re doing the sugar kick with), take a few deep breaths and then eat some really great sugar-free food.

Stick with it

I know it’s hard. It’s really hard. But I promise, it’ll be worth it. I’ve never felt so good as I do when I’ve eaten nothing but naturally created foods. My skin is better, I look better, I feel great and I’ve got more energy now than I’ve ever had before. (And I felt like that with the least amount of sleep I’ve ever had, running around after a toddler) Cutting down on sugar really has helped me in so many ways. I hope, one day, I’ll be able to be completely sugar free. I can only imagine how good I’ll feel then.

Reward yourself 

Yes you deserve it. Cutting sugar is hard. It’s everywhere. So when you reach your goals, treat yourself to something you really want.

If you’ve been considering cutting the amount of sugar you’re having, I hope this gives you the little push you needed to give it a go. And I really hope you start reaping the benefits, like I have.

However, please bear in mind that I am not a medical expert or trained nutritionist, so if you have any health issues, please check with your doctor before making any changes to your diet. This is what works for me, but everyone is different. 

Here are a few articles and recipes I've found, that you might like: 

I love Gabby Bernstein Here are her tips for quitting sugar.

There are a lot of books out there. I’ve got ‘IQuit Sugar’ by Sarah Wilson. It’s great for giving you something to follow and includes lots of great recipes. Worth getting in my opinion. (it's only £5 on Amazon at the moment too)

Sarah’swebsite is full of great info too.

And I’m constantly pinning recipes and health tips on my Pinterest page if you want to check it out.

I'd love to hear how you're cutting down on sugar. Please share your stories and advice on my Facebook page or pop over and say Hi on Twitter or Instagram (azestofgem for both)

RECIPE: Thyme Chicken and Raw Veggie Salad

This is one of my favourite summer dishes. The raw veggie salad comes out a lot in our house at this time of year I just mix it up with different 'sides' to keep it from getting boring. Although, I don't think I could get bored of this one. 

Here's the recipe: 

INGREDIENTS

This caters for two adults and a toddler. Add to the quantity if you have a bigger appetite.

For the Salad

Basically you want a good load of veggies and fruits, but I go for the following:

2 Carrots

A 1/4 red cabbage

1 large Pepper

A chunk of cucumber

Handful of baby tomatoes

1 stick of celery

1 spring onion

Small handful of Alfalfa Shoots

A few broccoli heads

For the dressing

A big dollop of coconut oil (or olive oil) - usually around 1-2tsp, but add more if you like it juicier

1/2 a lemon, juiced

1/2 a lime, juiced

2 tbsp of honey

For the Chicken

Some good quality chicken breasts (1 per person)

Thyme sprigs

Another dollop (around 1tbsp) of oil and another tbsp of honey (add more if you want it sweeter and stickier!)

METHOD

Pre-heat oven ready for the chicken. I set my fan assisted oven to 180 and cook the chicken for about 35-45 minutes (depending on thickness) checking and uncovering after 30 minutes.

Add oil to an oven dish, place chicken breasts on top, add a drizzle of  oil over the top, a drizzle of honey, make sure all the chicken is covered in this gooey sweetness, then add a few sprigs of thyme, sitting on top. Cover with foil (I take it off after 30 minutes of cooking, to add a bit of colour to the chicken.) Stick in oven. And get your salad sorted while it's cooking...

Once you've washed all your fruit and veg, chop the carrot and red cabbage into chunks and stick them in a food processor. I use the Kenwood mini chopped. Could do with a bigger on for this kind of thing, but it gets the job done. If you don't have anything like that, grate or chop the carrot and cabbage finely. Or keep it chunky if you'd prefer. I like to get it fine so it soaks up the dressing and adds a gorgeous flavour. Next... 

Stick all your carrots and red cabbage into a salad bowl. Next...

Wash and chop your broccoli, pepper, cucumber, celery, spring onion and baby tomatoes (however you like it!) And add that to the bowl with some alfalfa shoots. Next...

Mix together the coconut oil, lemon and lime juice, and honey in a cup or jug. Give it a good stir so the honey becomes runny with the rest of the ingredients and the coconut oil melts. (stick in a bowl of hot water or stick in oven for a few seconds to melt the oil if it's a cooler day) Give it a taste and add more lemon / oil / lime / honey to your own taste. It will taste quite strong on it's own, but once it's mixed with the veg, it's going to taste amazing.

Add the dressing to your salad and give it a good mix so all the ingredients get to soak up the scrummyness. (or leave it in a jug for people to add themselves!)

Once the chicken is cooked, put everything on your table and dig in. I absolutely love a sharing meal. We stick everything in the middle of the table and tuck in. My son loves getting stuck in too.

Even my meat-loving husband with a huge appetite finds this filling and completely satisfying. It really is delicious and so easy to create. Let me know how you get on. You can chat to me on my Facebook page or on my Twitter account - azestofgem for both or follow the links - I'd love to chat to you.

The Menstrual Cup - how it changed my life

Since having my son, I've suffered with really heavy, damn awful periods. The pain, I could work through with painkillers and a hot water bottle, but it was the heaviness of flow that literally stopped me in my tracks. I was using Tampax super, super tampons and they were only lasting an hour or less in the first few days. I had to wear awful sanitary towels as well and couldn’t go very far without risking leakage and needing a loo. (Once I actually used my son's nappy to give me a break from toilet runs!) (Oh the glam)

The I discovered the menstrual cup. I was looking at ways to reduce the toxins in our home and came across several articles on the menstrual cup.

My first thought was. 'No way!' Having fingers covered in blood and the faff of having to wash the cup wasn't appealing at all, but after reading about the toxicity levels in female sanitary products and various case studies from women who had used them. I decided to get over myself and give it a go. I had nothing to lose.

There are a lot to choose from, it turns out, but I went for the Moon Cup.

Best. Decision. Of. My. Life. 

My periods changed literally over night. It took a couple of months (about 3 periods) to nail using it and getting used to cleaning it, but it instantly stopped the leaking and having to stay by the toilet for those first days of my period.

Once I'd mastered putting it in and cleaning it, there was no stopping me. After the first month of going tampon free, my periods had improved significantly and now, over a year later, I barely get any pain at all and I only have a ‘heavy’ bleed on the first day. And you can't really call it heavy compared to what I was getting. 

Going from a week of pain and a lot of mess, to one day – I can totally handle that. The only problem I now have is that I have to keep an eye on when I’m due on, because I don’t get those stomach knots that signalled the red flag. (Although the chocolate cravings and tears are often a good sign!)

I know it sounds like a huge change to make if, like me, you’ve been using tampons or sanitary towels all your life. And I totally get that catching your period blood in a cup has very little appeal, but if you’re suffering with heavy bleeding and crippling pain every month, I urge you to give it a go. Even if you don’t suffer with bad periods, I’d still urge you to look at the chemicals in the sanitary products you’re using. It’s not good. It's really not good at all.

It is a big change to make, so I've had a think and come up with some tips to help you through the first month:

MY TIPS

Stay away from festivals and long days away from the comfort of your home toilet, for the first period. It does take some getting used to and you'll probably want to be at home for the first 'insertion'!!!

Keep a bowl in your bathroom if your toilet isn't next to your sink. It's best to give it a good rinse every time you empty it, and when your period is a bit heavier in those first few days it's better to stay sat on the loo and wash the cup in a bowl of hot water than having to make your way to a sink and risk 'dripping'. (I know!)

When you're using a public loo, either take a bottle of water to squirt over the cup, down the toilet, or (if that seems like too much of a faff.) (it does to me!) just empty and put it straight back in. I don't think it's worth the risk of dropping it down the loo. You shouldn't have to change it as often as you did with a tampon, so it's not really that much of an issue anyway.

Keep wet wipes and a dedicated towel nearby. Yeah it can get messy. Use wipes or loo roll to keep hands clean during and then wash them after you’re done. Obvs!

Some months, I use a sanitary towel for the first two nights. I tend to go to bed around 10pm, so it's a long time and sometimes it can leak. But if you're up in the night anyway, you won't need to worry about that.

Benefits

For me, it's significantly reduced my periods - from the amount of blood to the pain.

Cost- I paid £20 for the Moon Cup. You start saving money after just a couple of months. (Especially if you've got very heavy periods and have to use both tampons and towels)

Waste - there is none! No smelly, blood stained tampons or towels left in the bin. Did you know that smell is the tampon, not your blood? Huge bonus for me. (and for our landfill sites too)

Chemicals – it’s not an easy one to prove. (Because the manufacturers don’t tend to spill on the ingredients that go into making tampons and towels) But it does make sense when you actually look into it. Some might say it’s nonsense. Some will say it’s scaremongering. I say, the results speak for themselves.

Cons

It is a bit messy, but ladies it is just your blood and it's very easily washed off. Trust me, I was wary about this part. But the benefits, for me, far outweighed any issues I have getting a bit of blood on my hand. You just have to get over it. I don’t even think about it now.

This is a great summary from Buzzfeed '18 reason you should use a menstrual cup'. Check it out.

And because these things aren't for everyone 'An Ode of Hatred to my Diva Cup.'